January 16th, 2011 by Conor

Conor, Michelle and family thanks for keeping us all up to date with everything that is going on. This website is gonna blow his mind, I can’t wait to read about that! But as you know the recovery process will take some time not to mention the time it will take him to process this is real, its not a bad dream.

As some of you might know 4.5 years ago I had a life changing accident. I crashed a car and when I awoke I was covered in tubes and IVs in the ICU, I didn’t and still don’t remember accident happening, it did! As I awoke I was confused and thought it was a bad dream. However as things were being explained to me I realized that my legs weren’t moving. It all hit me at once, this is real! I spent 2 months in the hospital and rehab. I had never broke a bone in my body but now I had shattered a vertebrae, broke my leg, fractured ribs and a separated shoulder.Before I woke I already had a 7 hr emergency surgery to replace the shattered vertebrae and fuse it with hardware.

I get overwhelmed sometimes thinking about my experience and all the people that were and still are around me. Danny was one of these people! I can remember when I was in the ICU and began having visitors, they had to come in as groups of 4 or 5… after a few groups Danny came in, I don’t remember the details because I was showing off my morphine button but even in my drugged up state I remember him laughing as I continued my morphine mummbling. He visited a few more times before I left for rehab. I have seen him a bunch of times since but these things stick out.

About 2 years ago I started monoskiing and about that time I saw his sponsorship video (I’ve known he was good but had never seen him ride, I was in awe he was killing it)… it made me wanna try some tricks of my own. It was the end of the season and I was at Cranmore, we went by the park and I noticed some “ride on boxes”. This was my first year monoskiing but I wanted to prove what I could do. First try… nailed it! I couldn’t believe it! So I needed proof now, we went up with a camera. Second try…. failed. I couldn’t go out like that so we went back up…third try nailed it! Ecstatic I called it a day. Sitting on the deck was Danny (not riding cause a broken collar bone I think), so I went up to him and told him of my domination in the park… not sure he believed me but I had proof. I showed him the videos, he laughed at the crash and congratulated me on the successful attempts. It was cause of his videos that attempted it and why I continue pushing myself.(Conor said if I hit some jumps I might be able to make a video appearance, I’m working on it). I love shredding now and am looking forward to taking some runs with you guys in the future.

I know the feeling of wondering “why?” I still think about it daily and haven’t come up with a good answer…. not sure if I ever will. I have learned a lot though. I am much more aware of how it is easy to take the simple things for granted and how precious life really is when it is broken down.

Danny Get Shredder! Thinking about you bro.

January 16th, 2011 by Conor

I’ve really been trying to put this off for as long as possible. Not because I don’t have any stories or even some epic memories to share–trust me I could write a friggen book. Truth be told, its because I haven’t been willing to accept that this actually happen to my friend. All I can think and say is, “how could this happen”, “I don’t believe it” and “why can’t more be done”. Like everyone else, I don’t wanna accept it. Danny is in there, he is fighting to come out, I know he will fight his way back to all of us. Why am I so confident about this? It’s Danny Toumarkine we are talking about here people! He is the freaken Superman of snowboarding!! I mean lets be serious here, he launches himself off 100 foot jumps like a god damn missal on a regular basis. Snowboarding is who he is, it is as much a part of his identity as that crazy laugh of his. He is snowboading and snowboarding is him–his passion makes him one of the best and the best in my book. Yes, he takes risks ever time he straps on that board, but know one deserves something like this to happen to them. Not me, not you, and definitely not Danny.

Earlier today I found myself driving in the jeep (I’m still the JeepMaster) and I thought “what the hell, lets throw in a little pimp mix 8 into the ole cd player to lighten my mood”. I started thinking about all the times Danny and I shared in my Jeep. Driving up and down the strip in noco jamin out to a little Ja Rule–Danny knew every word. Those my friends, were the good ole days. Which brings me to this….Danny for some reason had an obsession with driving my jeep. He’d drive the thing anywhere and everywhere. There is a strong possibility he drove it more then me, actually I’m pretty sure he did. We would go everywhere in that thing–off road, on road, Wendy’s multiple times a day, no seriously, we had a problem with Jr bacon cheese burgers, road trips to see Conor and Josh–it was pretty much the family car. When I say “family” I mean it. Danny and Conor were like a family to me. I considered Danny’s home my second home. His family always made me feel like one of the family and I always appreciated it. I logged some serious time in that spare bed room. Let me tell you–Danny and Conor always made me feel like I belonged there. And, they were always there for me no matter what. Ups and downs, they were there. Always making me feel better, always making me laugh. Those are true friends. The best I’ve had.

Danny is an amazing friend. There is no doubt in my mind that Danny would go to bat for anyone of his friends no matter what, he never gets down, picks you up when your dealing with troubled times, he’s an all around good guy, the kid can do anything he puts his mind too and he’s MY friend! I’m proud of him, I hope he knows that. Danny I’m praying for you buddy everyday. I wish there was something I could say or do to make this better. Conor, you are truly an amazing brother. The strength you’ve shown throughout this experience is nothing short of inspiring. Your focus and commitment to watching over him, making sure he’s never alone, taking the graveyard shifts, keeping everyone informed and showing us all what love is. Danny knows you’re there, he knows you won’t let anything happen to him, he knows you will be waiting for him when he wakes up and he knows you’ll be with him no matter what may lay ahead. Conor, as much as I am here for Danny, I am here for you too.

-Charlie

January 16th, 2011 by Conor

For the past 4 months I have been fortunate enough to come out to Australia and play baseball with one of Danny’s closest mates Sean Guinard. About 2 weeks ago, Sean and I traveled up to Surfers Paradise, Australia where I was able to meet and stay with another close friend of Sean and Danny’s, Ian Stacey. On our second day up in Surfers, we learned of the tragic accident that happened to Danny. Even though I have never met Danny, his very well spoken friend Sean has showed me many videos and has told countless stories of his best friend. When hearing about the accident, I came to realize how amazing of a person Danny is after witnessing the concern and sorrow that was brought upon both Sean and Ian. It takes a true man and friend to leave an impact on someone’s life like Danny does to both Sean and Ian. The question often arises in this world,”Why do bad things happen to good people?” About 4 years ago I played on a missionary baseball team up in Alaska and my team chaplain gave me a pretty solid answer to this question. He said, “There are very few things that we have complete control of in this life. When bad things happen to good people, people tend to rush to the conclusion and only see and perceive the negative side to what is really happening. Yes it may seem like a tragedy, but if ONE persons misfortune not only brings family and friends closer to each other, but also brings them closer to God. Well then, it seems as if the Big Man upstairs is working miracles.” When I heard this answer, I still really did not grasp the concept to what he was really trying to say. As I pondered about it for the next few days, I began to realize that if someone impacts others lives by living a caring, compassionate, and loving life (As it seems Danny does). It truly demonstrates that they are gifts and miracles from God. We are God’s children and he would never want us to suffer and turn away from Him. Instead, He wants us not only to look to to each other for support, but to come closer to Him by seeking his guidance and love. When I heard of the accident, I have kept Danny, his family, and his friends in my prayers and thoughts every day. Sean reads me the updates almost every day and I am able to see the constant progression Danny has made through his brothers words. After hearing these past few updates, I know God is watching over and protecting Danny. I will continue to keep Danny and his family in my thoughts and prayers. Keep fighting Danny! Cause God has many great things in store for you.

January 15th, 2011 by Conor

Hi all,

I’m Danny’s uncle, David. I’ve never really thought of myself as Danny’s “uncle”, all I ever wanted to be was Danny’s friend. And these days I want that more than ever. While I’m 25 years older than Danny, I have nothing to teach him. And after reading these amazing love letters to Danny, it’s clear he has been our teacher for a while now. Teaching us about joy, passion, creativity, spirit, athleticism, friendship and now – determination. Even 2500 miles away, I can feel Danny’s determination. He is surviving, healing, and fueling our determination to support him and to lift him high when he needs us.

Since Conor built this site, I’ve developed a morning ritual where the first thing I do everyday is read DannyIsTheBomb. That gets the tears flowing. It’s a little weird, but somehow it feels right to start the day with a good cry and a solid prayer for Danny. (I repeat the drill at lunch and dinner. Not sure it’s healthy but it works…I’m thinking of creating a video game called WiiSob.) I know I’m not alone in this ritual, and I suspect all of us who visit this website feel our tears are full of sadness. But I hope we also find a little healing. We are trying to heal Danny and ourselves as best we can–to restore our own strength for the long road ahead.

Thank you Conor for building this site. Thank you Danny for showing the way. I do believe that today and tomorrow we are all Toumarkines. I’m proud to be part of this amazing family. We’re with you Danny, Conor, Michelle, Ellen, and David. Every hard-fought, well-earned step of the way.

Here’s some photos to share.

David Hamlin

January 15th, 2011 by Conor

i can’t really describe what went through my head when i heard the news about danny. disbelief; sadness; hope that it was not a reality, but perhaps something i heard wrong. i met danny through conor, whom i went to college with. being in the snowboard industry, i was always excited to hear what new shredding adventures they were on. way back when, conor and danny had approached me about getting danny hooked up with burton, so i gave danny some contacts the east coast reps who could get him set up. someone with his talent, energy, and drive, it wasn’t too long before he was one of the burton knowbuddies (Knowbuddy: a core influencer in a specific region, repping the best of the best burton has to offer). whenever danny was online, he would update me on all the things happening for him. you very rarely meet someone who is living out their dream and sharing with the world with such passion. it my life, i find that those are the best people to surround yourself with. i remember sitting in a burton sales meeting, and hearing the Anon crew talk about the knowbuddy, danny toumarkine, who recently won $10,000 at the the cholula triple air! i was so proud! i couldn’t wait to tell to danny that they were ranting and raving about him and congratulate him on his victory. its amazing watching someone succeed, and even harder to watch them fall.

i’ve been snowboarding my entire life, and often found comfort in losing myself and my worries in the powder and park. snowboarding for me, is an opportunity to clear my head and just be. in my short time on this planet, i’ve lost a lot of people to tragic endings: some to car accidents, some to cancer, some to snowboarding and skiing. i’ve always found a way to honor them, by putting a reminder of them on my snowboard – so in that time when i am clearing my head floating through the powder, i can send all those amazing vibes to the people i’ve lost. i wanted to give something back to danny, as he struggles through his recovery. something that people could put on their cars, snowboards, helmets, skis, and be reminded to send their positive vibes to danny. i had my good friends at InkMonstr make up some “danny is the bomb” stickers, and had conor use this as an opportunity to raise money to help danny. its my hope that everytime someone looks at that sticker, that they are reminded of danny. and reminded that life is an awesome adventure that we shouldn’t take for granted.

i’ll be riding my snowboard, sending all my love to danny – and anticipating the day that he can be riding again.
with love. lesley

ps. stickers are in the mail!

January 15th, 2011 by Conor

i moved in across the street from Danny when I was eight. That winter Danny Conor and I were jumping off of his tree house into a giant pile of snow. Well Danny and Conor were. I wouldn’t do it because I didn’t want to hurt my vagina (I was a real pussy as a kid). Danny kept saying “You’ll be fine. The snows too soft to damage your vagina”. It wasn’t until the next day that I worked up the courage to jump and by then the snow pile at the bottom had frozen. The landing hurt real bad and it knocked the wind out me but Danny was right. My vagina was unharmed.

I’s been a couple years since I’ve talked to Danny but I wish him well and hope that he remembers this story (it may not have happened exactly the way I remember it) and that it isn’t deemed too inappropriate for the site but the other story I was considering involved a video clip of a German shepherd he found on the internet.

I had been growing my hair out for the past 4 months but this seemed like as good a reason as any to shave it again. The rest of the McCuskers send their best wishes to Danny and the family.

-Joe McCusker

January 15th, 2011 by Conor

It was a short sleep but I am packed up and have said bye to Conor and Michelle who are still sleeping at the hotel. I did not want them to see me off. They need every minute of sleep they can get. I grabbed my bag full of clean clothes, that I never wore, since I lived in a pair of sweatpants and a hoody the whole time and walked over to the hospital. It’s about a 2 or 3 block walk which isn’t bad but the single digit temperatures are numbing even with a down jacket on. When I walked up to the ICU, Ellen was on the phone and David had gone to the gas station. I walked in to see Danny and the two of us just chilled for a minute while I talked to him. He looked peaceful today, as if he was taking a nap. Shortly after, David returned and we both talked with Danny for a few minutes. It has been about 15 hours since the last time they paralyzed him and it seems that he is able to hear us even though comprehension might be a bit scrambled. His mouth moves, his eyes are slightly open and he is squeezing my hand. Only one last thing could make this better so I asked “Danny, will you give me a thumbs up?”……there it was! While drugged out on the same medicine that killed Michael Jackson, Danny fought through the fog and gave me a thumbs up that implied “Thanks for coming to see me bro. I’ll keep fighting. Soon enough we will all be back together laughing.”

Overall I think this trip was successful on many levels. First, was to show support to my best friend Conor and his parents whom have been a huge part of my entire life. Second, to give Danny another familiar voice to hopefully respond to, even if he wont ever remember I was there. However, the third is completely selfish intent. When I first heard of the accident I was miserable and could barely sleep. I wanted answers and I wanted to see if I thought he was going to be ok. The only way I could satisfy this inquisition was to go see for myself. With some help from a great friend, Kelley McRee, and her families travel agency they were able to get me on a flight with short notice from Knoxville, TN to Great Falls, MT….UNBELIEVABLY HUGE! Now it’s Friday and I’m on my flight back. I was able to ask all the questions I wanted. I was able to see his condition and in my non-credible medical opinion I am under the impression that Danny is doing great and through time he is going to be fine.

In the brief 48 hours I was really excited to see the progress he was making. Of course all this needs to be placed in perspective, which Conor is quick to remind me of. The doctors have estimated that it will be a month before Danny would even have the ability to leave this Hospital. It’s easy for me to come in for a couple days and be satisfied with the progress he has made. The tough part is that when Danny comes out of the coma, the struggles will begin for him. I hope we all realize that the most support will be needed when the impact of this accident no longer affects us. It’s easy to be supportive when the feelings of grief are affecting us individually, but when those feelings disappear it will be a true test of friendship to offer the support he will need during the recovery process.

~Josh Belcher

January 15th, 2011 by Conor

I recently joined Shreddy Times by invitation. Soon after, I began reading several posts regarding an injured friend. Turns out, I have mutual friends with Danny, however, I live and work a few thousand miles away in Virginia. I was immediately moved to write in, but wasn’t quite sure where to start because I don’t think anything I have to say is of great significance. Ultimately, please know that although I’ve never met Danny, I have been impacted & inspired by him, his family, & by the enormous number of people who have reached out.

I work at an inpatient clinic in a physical rehabilitation hospital. Everyday I see people with new physical challenges; from a simple fall, to strokes, replacements, and traumatic brain injuries. While I typically see more speedy recoveries due to more minor injuries than what y’all are experiencing, I have witnessed some pretty amazing moments in the journeys of a few patients recovering from major strokes & TBIs. People don’t realize their own potential in those moments, but they are capable of overcoming their situations.

While these days of waiting seem to go on forever & y’all feel as though your souls can’t take it anymore, remember to take one day at a time; as much as you want things to happen, you have to be patient. Know that you all are not alone; it is okay to get upset, it is okay to ask for help & it is okay to take time for yourself – that’s not selfish. It is not good to feel pity & it is not good to ask “why Danny?” While it is natural to run the “what ifs” through your mind, you will drive yourself crazy. You’ve gotta have faith. At this point, all you can do is look forward & focus on what you’re going to do. It’s obvious that things are going to be much different, but you are only given what you can handle; it may seem like way more, but you’re doing it! Everyone on y’alls end is already VERY strong. From my point of view, things can only get better from here… slowly, but surely. There will still be hard times, but things will be moving forward.

The power of prayer & of positive thinking makes a tremendous impact. There is no doubt in my mind that with such amazing continual support from Danny’s family & friends, he will get through this; as well as the rest of your family. I am so excited for the coming weeks & months to read about Danny’s progression. The time will fly right on by! It is really hard to wrap your head around what it would be like to learn how to sit up again, or even how to grip something again (to name just a few), but those little things are HUGE…. they are are going to be so momentous. It is going to be amazing 🙂

With Love,

Emily

January 14th, 2011 by Conor

Danny Danny Danny. Through this unfortunate event it looks like you’ve taught a lot of people a lot of things. It really puts life in perspective. I was just told by a friend that you can’t truly appreciate the sunny days without a few cloudy ones. Your personality is strong, inspirational, and magnetic, there aren’t many individuals who would receive letters, love, and support from around the world on the scale that you have. I guess you just go big in everything you do.

This mountain lifestyle is a glorious one, but it isn’t always an easy one. I’ve never seen so many people in their 20’s with canes. But in the end time will heal all things, and I have a feeling winter will be back next year, and probably even the year after that. Be tough, stay positive, and steeze louise get back to Tahoe already, this place doesn’t know what to do without you.

My thoughts and prayers are with you all day, everyday.

Much Love
-Marrone

January 14th, 2011 by Conor

I knew this was going to be a short trip so I wanted to make the most of it. Little did I know I would be awake for 90% of the time I was here. This is a CRAZY lifestyle that they are living out here. The hotel room is a little packed so Conor and I had to share a bed. When we were 5 years old there would have never been any hesitation to share, but 20+ years later this spawned a topic of debate. Once rules were established (separate blankets, no facing in towards the middle, etc.) I secured my half of the bed and passed out. After a quick 5 hours of sleep we were back at the hospital. Danny had a cat scan while we were sleeping. They reported that the swelling in his brain had reduced slightly and they were going to go without inducing him with paralytics for the first time. This was great news to hear! After dinner Conor, Michelle, and I set up our spots for the graveyard shift. It wasn’t long before our favorite male nurse, Paul, came in to conduct another neuro test on Danny. Move your right hand…passed, thumbs up…passed, thumbs up with your left hand…no reaction, wiggle your toes…passed, Danny move your left hand…no response. At this point I could feel some general concern building inside me for the lack of movement in that left hand. Danny can we get a thumbs up with your left hand….no response. Paul then grabbed Danny’s left hand and began to tap his left thumb. Danny how about a thumbs up with this hand….no response. This time he held his hand and asked him to squeeze his hand….no response. All of a sudden Danny started moving his legs and it looked he was shifting out of discomfort for the position he was in. His eyes were half open and it looked like he was trying to blink his eyes. Then out of nowhere….BOOM….there it was, he raised his left arm and you could see that he was trying to move his fingers on his left hand. Immediately I felt some relief from the thought that he was suffering in that left arm from some sort of paralysis, either physical or medically induced. This was the first time I had seen Danny move around so much with his legs, that left arm, and even to see his eyes sort of blink. We were all content with the progress that he was making. The nurse shifted Danny in to a balanced position in order to keep a consistent flow of blood to travel through his body and up to his brain. He gave him a dose of Propofal and you could see it run through his body as Danny shut his eyes and fell back to sleep. A few minutes later we heard his ICP monitor beep. His ICP, which measures his brain pressure, had jumped from the normal teens up to the 40’s. This happened a lot during the first week he was there which they called “cycling”. The ICP was climbing 40’s, 50’s, 60’s. The monitor continued to beep in order to warn the nurses that he was reaching dangerous levels. In silence Conor, Michelle, and I were all fixed on this number. Why is it all of a sudden skyrocketing out of control? Why is it staying at such a high level? Why isn’t he cycling back to the teens after this intense spike? Paul entered the room and began to shift Danny’s head to see if he could relieve the pressure…no change, he started moving some tubes around and punching numbers in to the machines….no change. Then he walked out of the room. I don’t think any of us said anything and we continued to watch the ICP number fluctuate in the 30’s and 40’s. Paul returned to the room, walking quickly, and stated that the doctor has ordered a precautionary CT scan. To get the ICP number back in the teens Danny was given a small dose of paralytics. This was the first induced paralysis Danny had been given in almost a 24 hour period. Which was a big step in the recovery process. Due to standard operating procedures they had us leave the room and he was wheeled out to another part of the hospital.

Time passed as we anxiously awaited the results of the scan. Every time the door would open to the ICU I would hope it was Paul announcing his return. During this time there was another family that had arrived to see a different patient in the ICU. They all seemed to be in and out of the ICU every minute, which was building that anxiety of his return each time the door opened. However, this wasn’t nearly as annoying as one guy in that group that was sitting in the waiting area with us updating everyone in his family while on speaker phone. Note to everyone: don’t use your speaker phone in public. By the third family member called, Conor had reached his limit and asked the guy to be considerate to other people in the room. Problem solved.

Paul returned with some great news. The CT scan came back with positive results.
He told us that swelling had subsided and things had improved even from the other CT scan earlier in the day. As far as our concern with the ICP number he said that at this point we can sort of just ignore it. The bolt that is inserted into the brain tissue has a limited 7-14 day life span and at this point a positive CT scan and Danny’s ability to pass the neurological tests are all that really matter for judging his progress. This was a huge relief and we could not wait to get back in there to see Dan-O! This led us to the most exciting moment of the trip. Paul wanted to give Danny another neuro test before he hit him with a fresh dose of Propofal. When we all gathered around the bed we could see that Danny’s eyes were half open on his own. He was in a pretty heavy fog from the medicine so it was a blank stare but very cool nonetheless. We all took turns talking to Danny and he started moving his legs and trying to shift himself in the bed. Michelle was holding his hand and would tell him she loves him. In response he would squeeze her hand as if to say don’t ever let go. This was getting really cool! Then Paul began the test: Danny can you move your right hand…passed, thumbs up…passed, squeeze my hand…passed, thumbs up on your left hand…no response, can you move your left hand…no response, Paul grabbed Danny’s hand, can you squeeze my fingers….slight movement, squeeze my hand again….soft squeeze (passed), wiggle your toes…passed. Then things got really cool. He was sorting of kicking his legs, moving his arms around (both of them), and really shifting around in the bed. His eyes were more than half open at this point and he voluntarily blinked. With each blink it was like his eyes opened a little bit more. Paul quickly moved up towards his head and started asking Danny to look to the right and to the left. His head didn’t move but his eye balls flickered a bit. This was a bit of a surreal moment as he was moving all of his extremities, blinking his eyes, and for the second time we saw him move his eyes. Being a bit of optimist I started thinking that Danny was waking up and maybe he was going to speak to us. His mouth was moving and he looked like he might be trying to say something but nothing was coming out. Paul explained to us that it would be impossible for Danny to speak right now due to the tracheotomy. So much to my disappointment this meant I won’t be hearing his infectious laugh while I’m there. Damn, we all miss that! Those 2 minutes have stood out as my favorite of the trip. You could actually see Danny fighting to get back to being Danny. Thank you God, we need more moments like that!

The remainder of the evening was filled with some exhausted laughs, Facebook stalking, and Paul’s request for Conor to help raise awareness that not all male nurses fit the homosexual stereotype. Since Conor is overwhelmed with the work to keep the website updated, I thought I would include that as a plug for Paul. So everyone is aware Danny has some really great doctors and nurses taking care of him. Paul was the nurse on duty for both nights that I was there so I was able to get to know him the best. This is a guy that you know is passionate about the care of his patients and the well being of family members present. He is thorough with answers to any questions, patient with explanations, and speaks in ways that people without a medical degree would understand. We always had a good time when he was in the room telling jokes, picking on each other, and he was very interested with the accomplishments of Shreddy Times and dannyisthebomb.com. Danny is very lucky to have this type of person to oversee him until he is back on his feet. Keep up the good work Paul!

For some reason 6a came quicker than it had the night before. So we headed back to the hotel so i could try to sneak in 4 hours of sleep before I left for my flight.
Overall the day was a bit of a roller coaster. It had some low points of uncertainty but it also shared some highlights of progress and recovery. I will have to make it a point to stop back at the hospital in the morning to say bye to Danny before I leave for the airport.

~Josh Belcher