January 21st, 2011 by MIchelle
It’s 12:43 AM and tonight will mark the second night spent away from Danny since I can remember getting here. There were other nights when sleep won, I lost, and I didn’t make it the whole night in room 5109, but intentionally walking out of the room and home to the hotel feels strange. I get that choked up feeling in my throat when I say goodnight to Danny. I fight back tears and can’t say more than a couple of words at a time without my voice cracking. I spend as much time as I can in that room with him even if it means skipping meals, showers, and not seeing more than a two block radius around the hospital. Lot’s of people keep saying that we should get out of the hospital for a change of scenery, but I’m perfectly fine in room 5109. I’ve seen enough outside the hospital to know that Great Falls isn’t really for me.
It was extra tough leaving Danny tonight. He was wide awake and I’m pretty sure he thought he was coming with us when we left. He thinks we’re in New Hampshire. We’ve told him quite a few times we’re in Montana. Short term memory is definitely something we’re going to have to work on. He smiled tonight while Conor and I were hanging out with him. We were trying pretty hard. I was laughing really hard. We had hillbilly teeth in and hung up some decor his grandma sent. Danny now has a plastic hawaiian grass skirt and flowers hanging from the entrance to his room. He also wrote THANKS FOR EVERYTHING…BOTH OF YOU! on a piece of paper. Made us stoked.
I want to stay awake a write right now. I feel like any second now some really profound thoughts are going to surface, but I’m going to try to get on a normal schedule. Maybe tomorrow. Good night world.